Tuesday, July 20, 2010

On Marriage, Media, And Sexual Ethics

After reading the article about Christina Saunders who copied Sex and the City's Samantha and bedded 1,000 men, I can't help but to comment on the misguided comments.

As sad as the situation in the article is, the sad thing is that the girl admits she has regrets wishing to settle down with a "man who does not want her only for sex" but is afraid she has now "put men off." Yet, people still aren't thinking through the issues. She slept with 1,000 men and feels no more confident than before. In fact, she feels regretful and scared she has hurt any future long term relationship. She isn't happy, confident, empowered or proud. That's the point of the article.

Ironically, in the comments some people reacted as if 1,000 partners all of a sudden made it a poor choice -as though excess made something a vice -not moral facts. Think it through. At what number does it begin to be a vice: 10, 50, 100, 500? Others, although grossed out, still stuck to their guns saying:
"Give it rest, she slept with a 1000 blokes, not like she went out shooting anyone? she's a good looking girl, who just likes sex, she's not hurting anyone, or doing anything wrong, fair play to her, and whats god got to do with it also? I dont see him handing out words of wisdom on a regular basis, he kicked the bucket 2000 years ago......"
And here our modern morality of mutual consent and unprofessional, mitigated utilitarianism rears its ugly head. Let's at least face the facts. She did hurt someone -she admits to hurting herself!

Sadly, the question not being entertained in the modern mind is this: is it disgusting and wrong that she had 1,000 one night stands or merely 1? Or: does having a series of one night stands actually make you happy? Do people ever consider that perhaps she would be happiest if she had gotten married and found confidence, security in the fidelity of marriage. There was even an Atheist who conceded in the function of virginity until marriage citing studies of strengthened emotional attachment in marriage. Clearly, 1,000 one night stands didn't do the trick.

You may not want to talk about Jesus, God and the Bible -which you should because there is a God who holds us accountable yet is merciful to forgive. You may not want to believe in moral facts -which you should because moral facts exist regardless of your belief. However, you would be remiss if you didn't listen Christina: she isn't happy and all she wants now is to settle down, and 1,000 one night stands didn't help.

- Jane Atkinson, Sex and the City Fan Beds More than 1000 Men, in News of the World, July, 18, 2010.

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